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Feeding a Kitten Like a Boss

SMILE, BABY MICHELLE, YOU’RE HOLDING A KITTEN. This is me when I was tan and 6 or 7 with an awesome haircut. I’m holding Sandy, our cat, before she turned into the Antichrist we know today. - Daughter

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See Puppy Run, See Seam Run

Clothes-rippers. Or Jack the Rippers. My best friends adopted a stray dog because they’re good humans with beating organs that pump blood throughout their respective circulatory systems. Unbeknownst to...

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Road Trip Diaries: A Father-Daughter Epic, Part III

Instagram filters out the ugly. My dad and I didn’t get on the road today because of the weather gods’ sadistic ways so just pretend you’re at a fancy orchestra concert and it’s the intermission. This...

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I Guess I’m Supposed to Write About Valentine’s Day

It’s that time of year again. No, not another colonoscopy. No, not another endoscopy. NO, NOT FOR AN ENEMA. Is your digestive system okay? Like, seriously. That’s a lot of procedures. Eat some more...

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The Kittens are in the Rebellious Teen Phase

Go home, Kitten, you’re drunk. But seriously, I walked into my bedroom today and found a kitten asleep in one of my shoes. The smell of tequila and regret wafting through the air mixed with Tidy Cats:...

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Facial Hair Removal Horror Stories

People are generally surprised when I claim to be a tiny amount Persian because I’m pale and always have a soy latte in hand. At which point I show them my faint handlebar mustache. But really, the...

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